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We’ve been told that love is something we fall into, that it’s surprising, breathtaking and uncontrollable. Sounds wonderful! The problem with this thinking is if you can fall into love, you can fall out of it. Just take a look at the folks in Hollywood. Actors commit to a role in a movie for a few months and then quickly move on to another, and seemingly, move in and out of love at the same rate. The multitude of broken marriages we see are evidence that if you don’t love consciously, you can easily be distracted to the point where you move on to someone else.

While love is breathtaking, and often surprising, it isn’t the “feeling” of love that makes it so, but rather the actions of the one giving the love. These actions aren’t something we fall into or happen by accident. They are conscious choices. Choices that will take the other’s breath away because, in doing them, you’re saying “I choose you. I love you and will do what it takes to make you happy.”

Sure, the immediate reaction you feel, when you meet someone you are attracted to, can give you a breathless excitement, but it can just as easily go away once you get to know them and find that you don’t have much in common.

It is the commitment. The conscious choice to love someone, flaws and all, in the good and bad, for better or for worse, that is truly breathtaking!

So, how can we love consciously and show our love in a tangible way?

1. Commit. Be in it for the long haul, with no talk of a way out at the first sign of difficulty.
2. Compliment one another by being verbal in your praise. A smile and saying “You look nice today” can definitely make a heart go “pitter-pat.”
3. Listen actively. When you look someone in the eye and really listen to them, you are saying “I value your opinion and, more importantly, I value you.”
4. Respect one another by showing regard to their thoughts, feelings and ideas. It says “I’m interested in YOU.”
5. Encourage one another. It’s amazing when someone really “gets” you, isn’t criti- cal of your mistakes and encourages you in the things that interest you.
6. Be compassionate. Love is there to pick you up when you fall, to hold you and say “I’m here for you” when the going gets tough.
7. Celebrate the one you love by finding ways to boldly say “I love you.” These are the things that keep love exciting and breathtaking.

8. Forgive. When the one you love has messed up and apologizes, forgiveness says “We can work this out. I love you, just the way you are.”
9. Be vulnerable. Nothing says “I love you” like the vulnerability that comes with saying “My heart is in your hands.”
10. Say the words. None of us are mind readers and even though we may have heard you say it before, we still need to hear the words spoken, “I love you!” Those 3 little words are truly breathtaking!

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