Corn Stalking Me
I still turn up the radio for George Jones, although he’s hard to find these days. I’ve told you before that even though I love country music, I can’t pass Cracker Barrel without stopping for a big glass of sweet tea and plan to own a farmhouse sink one day soon, a country girl I’m not. So, it was with a little trepidation that I accepted an invitation to a friend’s house way out in the sticks.
It was one of those girl parties…you know the kind….where you’re invited to fellowship, eat, laugh, and, of course, buy something. It was a “candle party”, because none of us have enough highly scented, cough-inducing fire hazards in our home. But, like so many others, I fall prey to the call of the apple cinnamon, pumpkin pie, and hot caramel pecan aromas that make our homes smell like we cook more than Marie Callendar. It is an odd tradition that separates us from the male sex. When was the last time you guys attended a Husqvarna or Poulan party to oooh and ahh over this year’s new model chain saw?
I digress. So, after work that Tuesday night in early fall, I set out armed with good directions (so I thought) and a full bottle of RC. How hard could it be? I obediently followed the route, watching for the landmarks my friend had indicated would be obvious. Turn right at the blue water tank. Okay. Now stay on that road, oh, about two or three miles….as if I can drive and watch the odometer at the same time….look for a big silo then turn left on Huckleberry Road. Stay on Huckleberry for about another two miles until you come to the dead tree that lightning struck last year (like I would know) and then make a right down her long country lane. Piece of cake, right?
I drove and drove for what seemed like an eternity looking for Huckleberry Road. It should be one of the first lefts I could make. I passed road after road, lane after lane, but no Huckleberry Road in sight. All I was seeing was corn….acres and acres of corn….as far as the eye could see on both sides of the road, around the bend in front of me, and in the rearview mirror…tall brown stalks of corn. Suddenly those directions seemed no better than those of the Hekawi Indians on F Troop…”Make right turn at big rock that look like bear, then make left turn at big bear that look like rock.” My heart started to race and my palms began to sweat. The more nervous I got, the more I sipped on the RC. I was losing sunlight fast.
I realized I must have misunderstood the directions. I pulled over and re-read them. No, that’s what it says. So, all the way back out to “the hard road” to start over, back down miles and miles to the blue water tank to try again. I wish I could tell you I found the place to turn within minutes, but not so. Again, the sun sinking fast and tall corn on both sides of the road, I hurried along, stopping to investigate a little tractor lane to see if it could possibly be Huckleberry Road.
I felt hopelessly lost and claustrophobia was rapidly setting in. I couldn’t see over the corn. I couldn’t see around the corn. I couldn’t see through the corn and I certainly could not see under it. I’m not easily given to panic, but I’ll have to admit “panic” was the next stop on the “You Are Here” map of my life. I pulled over again and for a second or two I contemplated getting out of the car and climbing onto the roof just to find out if I was anywhere near civilization or at least an outhouse. I have to chuckle now, but it wasn’t funny then. I remember yelling at the top of my voice the line screamed by the potential stepmom in the Brian Keith-Maureen O’Hara version of “The Parent Trap”…..”Get me outa this stinkin’ fresh air!!!”
I finally gathered myself and again turned around to head back down to the big blue tank to start over. “Five minutes”, I said, “if I don’t find it in five minutes I’m going home before it’s pitch dark and nobody ever hears from me again.” This time, for whatever reason, I felt like I should turn left down a road where there was no sign, only a pole where a sign had been. I turned and followed it on to where the directions again began to make sense. I pulled into my friend’s long country lane, quite late, but all in one piece, and other than being met by a large ill-mannered dog and missing the first round of appetizers to dash to the bathroom, I suffered no harm.
When asked if I found the place okay, I gave her a nervous smile and said “sure” and was certain I would be struck dead for the elastic “truth” I had just told. I did tell her the Huckleberry Road sign was missing and she said, “Oh, those country boys, always stealing road signs for fun.” What? Another lady offered, “oh, when you go home, go this way”, and proceeded to tell me a tremendous short cut to get me out of Bugtussle as fast as possible.
I ate some snacks, listened to the candle spiel and sniffed a variety of fragrances all burning at the same time. I purchased an expensive jar candle I didn’t need (so my friend would have enough points to get something free) and then I departed, a bit shaken by my ordeal, but thrilled to be on the way to someplace where there’s a stoplight and fast food joint every other block. I learned a lot about myself that night. God bless those folks who can handle it out there, but it’s not me.
On the way home I couldn’t help but remember how frustrated I felt, how scared and hopeless and lonely, how trapped and how close I was to giving up and giving in. It made me think about the situations we are all in from time to time….those times when you can’t see a way out….when the view in any direction is just another problem, another heartache, another trial. You can’t find your way and there seems to be no one to ask. You just want to stand up and scream “God, where are you?! “ You feel like you desperately need a SIGN!! I’d like to tell you that it’s as easy as re-reading the directions. The Bible is good reading regardless, but sometimes you can follow the directions as best you know how and still find yourself lost in a no man’s land of confusion. Sometimes you just have to go through the process and wait for God to reveal Himself to you, one turn at a time, because even though you can’t see over your problem, around or through it, He’s looking at it from above and He knows right where you are in the middle of it. Hang on….don’t quit. You’re almost there.
Janice
